January 2011
1 post
a long time coming
Yes I know its been a while again but heh who gives a shit, its my blog. Alot has happened since my last updates. looking back on them I was a big emo douchebag. Totally fooled by Melissa. I doubt I’ve learned my lesson. I’m still a sucker for a pretty face and a little physical contact here and there. However, It’s all happening today! I’ve just finnished my online...
August 2010
1 post
plagiarising a stalker/murderer?
You know, I’ve never written a love letter before. I sat down tonight and thought “What in Odin’s name is going on with my feelings at the moment..gonna write em down” but everytime I start It just seems like an introduction to a letter written by a serial killer to an intended victim whom he was interrupted from murdering. How hard is it to explain how you feel about...
March 2010
2 posts
Soul Murder
You know I don’t think Murderface was far off when he said “women…they are soul murderers” I give up. I seriously give up. I’m not gay, or Bi, but my faith in the other sex has been shaken to the foundations I think. Another Apparent fantasy of Adolescent proportions has come crashing down and I feel bad that I was ever a party to something so pointless and Immature....
dream...from last night..not tonight.
Alright so I’m sitting bitching to myself about the people on Warcraft and chatting with Smivaz on msn. when suddenly my dream pops back into my head. I can’t really remember the finer points of it but the main theme of it was;
I was at work, In good old Asda, In Derwentside, which was some how in Soviet Russia and completely covered by Jungle apart from “Federally...
February 2010
5 posts
Another weak, another lost...
…and another update.
I had my laser eye surgery on Friday Morning. Truth be told I was sitting in the waiting room for an hour shitting my pants. Turns out it was completely unnecessary. The procedure took less than 5 minutes and the only bad part was when the Doc made the flap with a little clear plastic cookie cutter and a what appeared to be a big steel press with bright lights. ...
Get out of my head, and get into my arms.
"Kiss me with your bloody lips and drive me...
Once again I can’t sleep. I’m going to try some free writing and see where it takes me, if anyhere at all. She’s consuming my thoughts again. her beauty is so haunting, it breaks my heart to think of her. Bearing in mind I havent really made my feelings known to her for fear of well…everything, I’m living in absolute terror that she could turn around and say...
No dreams breed in breathless sleep
But wierd dreams breed in mine. First of all Good Morning. I feel compelled to right this down, it was wierd. I dreamt I was in a castle over looking a wide square then a small harbour. me and a few of my friends were in the top of the tower, held as some kind of prisoner. The best part of it was, she was there, the girl I told you about last night :D. We took care of each other in that tower...
haunted and crazy.
Well hello there. I didn’t think this dusty place was still inhabited. Nevermind, like spring brings new life so I shall bring something fresh to this Blog!
So! Wow! The last post I made was in April last year? Thats nearly a year ago, geez. so much for the once a week thing huh? So yeah, its 1.30 in the AM and I’m not so much wide awake as just unable to sleep. I’m tired - but...
April 2009
3 posts
The Police
Howdy all, another post about the useless state of Britain.
There’s more nonsense in the news about Police Brutality at the G20 protests today. To be perfectly honest if you were fucking stupid enough to protest anyway you deserve a beating. BUT I can understand their being a problem with the police being violent to passers by it is perhaps a little too much. But why complain about it.
I...
LATE!
No, I didnt miss my period. I missed my saturday update, but then I suppose thats a good thing, as I wouldnt have all my tales from last night and about the wierd dream I had when i got home and into bed.
I’ll start off with the night out, we hit the town pretty hard last night, for all it was quite quiet. Basement was fairly empty and full of younglings, Trills was half full of the usual...
updates
Hey its saturday again, and here comes my first steps at making this a weekly thing. Famous last words huh?
My post this week wont be as epic or political as last weeks i don’t think. I don’t know anyone who reads this anyways so this has just become my sort of personal little diary thing / rant space. So! lets crack on.
I went out on thursday night to the pub for a big knees up with...
March 2009
1 post
"Great" Britain or United Kingdom?
A debate that has come to mean alot more for me. In recent weeks, talking to an american friend of mine, I have become alot more aware of my nationality. The news now means alot more to me when I read it for instance. Well News as a concept has even caught my awareness. Recently in the UK there was a march by soldiers returning home from the middle east, which was marred by a protest by muslims...
January 2009
2 posts
World of Warcraft.
It’s like marmite I guess, you either love it or you hate it. For the past 3 years I’ve played this game, spent hundreds of pounds to play it infact and what have I gotten out of it? A handful of online friends certainly but other than that not alot, a few pixels that made my virtual character virtually a bit more powerful, so he could be virtually raped over and over again by other...
Devotion and Weakness
Ok so I read story in the news today about a Doctor sueing his wife in their divorce for 1.5 million dollars, because he had donated a kidney to her, while they were married. The story went on to explain that the husband suspected his wife of sleeping with another man outside the marriage. It went further to explain that the Wife was also keeping him from seeing their kids, of which they had...
December 2008
1 post
New post.
Yet again im starting a blog post with the words “so i havent posted anything for a while”. I apologise, life has been a bit hectic between Birthdays, friends going through break ups and going to Uni, and working over christmas its been pretty bad.
Im not here to talk about all that though. I’m here today to talk about why people think they can bitch and piss and moan about...
October 2008
5 posts
new machine
A long time since my last post again. Good News. I bought a new computer on monday. I say bought, I got it on a financial scheme to pay nothing for 12 months. Of course I’ll pay it off before then. but this means I’m now £1300 in debt. Oh well. Its a gorgeous Machine. It’s listed as a media machine. purely because it came with a blue-ray write and High-def monitor. But...
Holy Wars, Paganism and Cliches
Odd title right? I’d say its a long story and give you a load of spiel but its not really. Put simply; I’m listening to Holy Wars by Megadeth, I’m looking at books about Norse Paganism on Amazon and Play.com and I’m thinking about Cliche’s
With mass media and movies and tele-drama’s and stage shows and songs and the list goes on. Is it possible to convey...
Where is the Line, and when do I cross it?
This post is a bit of a wierd one for me. I feel kind of embaressed really, shit some people might get a little wierded out by it themselves. Basically last week Rebekah showed be a picture of her Polish friend (who’s name is still unknown to me. They can’t pronounce it so they call her Olga) and i’ve found myself thinking about that picture alot. I know its shallow to base my...
true colors
Well I wanted to embed the video to the Cyndi Lauper song in here but it won’t let me so!
Go check it out on youtube or something Cyndi Lauper - True Colors.
hectic
Last few days have been pretty hectic. Yesterday was my Gran’s funeral and the weather was that typical cliche, windy and rainy. Its been almost unbearably cold aswell all of a sudden. The wind has changed direction or something and its brought with it really wintery weather, its clear autumn is getting into full swing now, even if the leaves on the trees still arent changing color.
The...
September 2008
5 posts
its been a long time
Hmm title makes me want to listen to Black Label Society. Alas I digress in the first sentence. How odd. Well it’s true I havent posted anything in a while. I could lie and say that it’s because of work or something. That’d be a half truth, I have been working totally daft hours like 7.30am starts. Or working twilight shifts, so my sleep patterns are screwed up. However prior...
the downside of being a temp
Like the title suggests…being a temp has its good sides. But i’ve just been given fucking retarded news.
I was handed my hours after last saturdays shift and it said I was working tuesday and wednesday then i wasnt working again for another seven days. Now I’ve just been told that I’m supposed to be in tomorrow morning AT FUCKING SEVEN THIRTY!…HOW THE FUCK CAN...
Nostalgia or Neuralgia?
It’s strange how a memory can return to you, from seemingly out of the blue. Maybe something triggers it on a sub concious level, I don’t know.
Take for example a few moments ago, I was sitting, drinking coffee and gaming. When all of a sudden I remembered my old friend Dean Mackie. Our friendship was …odd, you could say. We knew each other from my gran living on his...
lucky if you want it.
I decided this afternoon to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The original one with Gene Wilder, in other words…”The Good One”. And Grandpa Joe says “You have more chance than anyone else of getting the golden ticket because you want it more”. Or words to that effect. And it struck me, how true this could be. (dont worry i’ll explain) Now...
anxious
Well my training is pretty much over now. I start work proper on saturday…and guess what. I’m in for a MASSIVE shift. After I told them in my interview I just wanted small shifts so I dont have any panic attacks while I’m at work. I tried to explain this again to my department manager at work and I got told, words to this effect “you’ll work what you’re...
August 2008
11 posts
It's time
Well I think its time for another update. I know I havent posted in a while, but truth be told, nothing has happened for a while. I’m still confused as hell about what I wanna do with my life, I’m still dead nervous when I’m in environments where I dont know anyone (doctor says I have social phobia or something) and I’m even more nervous about starting work tomorrow cos...
a naughty dream
This is gonna get pretty raunchy and im not gonna sugar coat it because, well I dislike coming up with metaphors for particular motions and actions during sex. It happened a couple of nights ago now but I still recall it pretty clearly. Bear in mind it was a dream so alot of it will be wierd or wont make sense.
It started looking down at a large building complex that I mistook for an old...
Its back.
You’d honestly never guess why the hell I feel so bad now. I was playing on my Undead Mage on WoW, when a dwarf paladin attacks a Warlock I was running past. The Dwarf didnt even get a chance to hit the warlock between my frostbolts and the Warlock fearing him. I wish to hell I’d stayed out of it so the stunty could have stood a better chance. And now I’m left feeling like...
ok ok so its been a few days.
Well like the title suggests, its been a couple of days since I posted anything, this is basically because nothing of interest has really happened. I’ve painted my room a bit. I visited a writing group near me. Thats about it. But! I can’t become complacent about writing, no matter how mundane the topic is. Besides I’m currently bored as my character on warcraft, is levelling...
and now for something, a little naughty.
So I was dragged down to the local B&Q Hardware store outlet to buy some wallpaper and paint to redecorate my room. I wasn’t particularly looking forward to it. The drive down there, isn’t necessarily long but I always seem to get headaches on the journey. Today was no different. I felt grouchy when we got there, a little bit hazy, and I’d also forgot to pick up my glasses....
First of All, An Apology.
I should apologise for last nights very brief,…er…bulletin you could call it. I didn’t really wanna list the details.
Today hasn’t been too bad. I slept in quite late considering my new sleep pattern. Had a nice breakfast and logged onto WoW for an easy day. Then I looked at my post from last night and I remembered what was going on. I have to say I feel fully...
Hah
knew it was bullshit, g’night people
stay safe BP
Should I?
Well I apparently hate being me enough to want to be someone else, most of the time. And I’ve spent most of the morning flitting around reading bits of online biographies of actors etc. Wondering if Acting wouldn’t be such a bad career. Of course I’d have to come out of my shell to do it. And I’m starting late if I go to an acting school now. But it’s something...
fluctuation.
My emotions are going rather crazy again today. It started after writing earlier about my dream, thinking about Heath Ledger. I’ll admit I never saw many of his movies. Only that I saw him in First Knight and The Dark Knight. But really, Heath’s Death has just hit me like a ton of a bricks. His performance in Dark Knight really is so inspired and he was taken away at the age of...
My Joker Dream
Gods what a wierd night of dreams I had last night.
The first one, I don’t really recall, I was in some hospice or motel on a clifftop with some people from my old school. On a trip or some such
After that though, man it just went crazy. I dreamt I was putting on Joker makeup and dressing like him, in my old house. It was actually quite fun just sort of smearing the makeup on. But my...
crazy weather
Well I’ve just returned from the other side of town. I went to hand in a CV for a part time Job over there, It’s only friday and saturday and the money is better than nothing. Especially until I’ve seen the doctor on monday. But damn the weather today is crazy. I put off going out this morning after some really forboding thick grey clouds blew in and sort of hung around as...
July 2008
9 posts
Stolen from Lil.
Never in my life: Have I gotten over my pride.
When I was five: I did some stuff I can’t remember.
High School was: all bullies and hanging out with friends.
I will never forget: Who I lost my virginity with.
There’s this girl I know who: thinks she’s a witch.
Once, at a bar: I totaly missed the signs that a girl was hitting on me.
By noon, I’m usually: having breakfast.
Last...
The discipline of Writing.
I don’t really know what to type here today, I’m having a hard time writing anything. Which sucks when you wanna be a writer. But I hardly talk to my Muse anymore, its cool that she’s getting on with her life and I respect that, applaud it even. I’ve realised how hard that is. But I do miss talking to her, as much as we used to.
Lets try free writing. huh
Well I told my...
Ice Pop Weather - from beast to beauty.
I left work today feeling like hell. What a damned boring job. I mean nobody talks there…you get a batch in, focus intently on getting the measures right. So it seems to be about Working in near silence all day. Oh didn’t I mention we arent allowed a radio? Well I just did. I have to stand on pretty much one spot for roughly eight hours a day in near silence. Save for the wirr of the...
Work and works of literature... or lack there of.
I don’t know if I can take it. Everytime I think about it I Panic, struggle to breath tears in my eyes. sheer terror, that I can’t be normal and live life like everyone else. But I don’t think I can. I’m too much inside my own head for that now. I don’t like being away from my bedroom, my computer, my internet, and my online friends for extended periods of time. Just...
The Dark Knight
Well i’ve been home for about an hour and a bit after seeing the movie. And I still can’t shake off how good it was. Now don’t worry I’m not here to blind you with spoilers. Just some simple opinions.
Firstly, for the people saying its a bad film. Get a life. The people saying The Dark Knight is a bad film, have nothing better to do but bullshit it. It is, to be honest,...
nervous
grrrrf I hate all this waiting around to start work. I know I should be enjoying the rest of my freetime but I can’t im too scared I’m going to be bored with what I do, or that the work will feel like its dragging over. and thats the last thing I want. Or even that the people I’ll be working with will be dead cagey and i’ll be working in silence or something.
It’s...
Uuuunngh
Well I went out last night with a few friends and managed to get myself, really, really, drunk. I didn’t intend to though, Stan was buying the rounds you see…and he guzzles his pints of diesel like soft drinks. So of course, I was trying to take it easy, enjoying my drinks and having a few laughs with Stanny-kins buying me more and more drink. Its my own fault though, i should have...
First Post eh?
Ah well here goes nothing, as they say. Well should I introduce myself? Who cares! Lets get on with it.
Its a thursday lunchtime, and I’m once again bored as hell. I should really do something with my time. You see, I start my new job on monday as a Lab assistant, this means im not going to have time to doss around doing sod all anymore. I’ll admit, my feelings about this are two...
